Single Parents - The Unsung Heroes

As my husband’s four-month stint in Atlanta ends in 2 weeks, 10 hours, and 53 minutes, (not that I’m counting), I want to give mad props to all parents who are single, military spouses, or whose spouses travel without them on a regular basis. You amaze me.

This solo parenting thing has been challenging and I only have one child – one who can stay home alone for an hour while I go to the grocery store and can play by herself while I hide in my room clutching a bottle of wine and binge-watch Orange is the New Black. 

I miss my husband. I miss being able to share – in person – our daughter’s ups and downs. It’s not the same telling him over the phone about the wonderful parent/teacher conference I had where her teacher praised her writing, math progress, and her growing empathy and passion for protecting the earth. It’s also not the same dealing with a massive melt down due to exhaustion or because the full moon failed to align with Mars (I can’t always tell why they happen. I can only hypothesize) without him there to witness it.

I love my daughter tremendously, but there’s a reason the proverb is “Absence makes the heart grow fonder.” My new adage is “Togetherness makes the legs want to run in the other direction without stopping.” Even when we are enjoying each other’s company, at some point one of us will say or do something that will push the other one’s giant ANNOY button. It’s not always easy to give each other the space we need, especially when we’ve been stuck together in long car rides or on super hot or rainy days when time apart isn’t feasible. It also hasn’t helped that our next door neighbor best friends (mother and daughter) are away for most of the summer (Maggie, please come back soon! I'm sending out an SOS.)

I adore my Village and would have torn my hair out without them. Between my mom, friends, neighbors, and Holly’s wonderful friends’ parents, I’ve had an awesome support network over these last four months. They’ve hosted play dates and conversely, let me adopt their children as temporary “siblings” to keep my extroverted, only child company.  I can’t underscore how fabulous these folks have been to Holly and me. Still, having them around is not the same as having my partner in love, marriage, and parenting by my side. I miss my husband’s super power ability to turn his daddy’s girl’s mood around with just a well-timed fart joke.  I miss our end of day conversations where we’d laugh or moan together about her antics. I even miss that quiet time just knowing he is there and not having to talk at all. His absence HAS made my heart grow fonder and more appreciate of our marriage and partnership.

My single parenting term is almost over. To those of you who regularly handle the house, the kids, the pets, the finances, and all the trials and tribulations that accompany those things alone, I salute you and empathize with you.

And please know that I am always happy to be a part of your Village - readily prepared with wine, Band Aids, earplugs – whatever you need to stay sane and functioning.