We working moms spend way too much time feeling guilty. We feel guilty when we are at work and have to forgo school events or miss milestones like our baby’s first steps. We feel guilty if we need to be home with a sick child and have to miss meetings or rely on a coworker to help us with our workload while we deal with an issue at daycare.
Not only are our own feelings of failure bringing us down, this article discusses how working mothers may get passed over for promotions or overlooked for special projects because bosses fear that their parenting responsibilities will impede their ability to do a job well. Women with M.B.A.s who left the workforce for a period of time to raise children make almost half as much as men with the same degree when they return.
A friend recently told me how her boss hired her with the caveat that he was doing so “against his better judgment” as she was a mother to two children under four even though her credentials were perfect for the job. He expressed his concern that her family obligations might negatively impact her job performance. When she had to pick her child up sick from school during the work day and managed to make it back into the office within an hour and a half after a frantic juggling act involving a rushed doctor’s appointment and sitter arrangement, she returned to find a come-see-me message from her boss who told her he was upset and frustrated with her for having to leave during the work day. Never mind that she has been a stellar employee and hasn’t missed any deadlines. In his eyes, she’s a mom first and that, to him and others like him, is an undesirable attribute.
While looking for jobs, I have been very surprised at the number of companies that still don’t allow for telework and have limited vacation and sick time. I was told by one interviewer that though his organization had the capability to allow employees to work from home, the director would only allow for it if there was “something like a terrorist attack.” Because, really, that would be my first thought if there was a horrible event like that – “I can work from home now.” Shudder.
It’s also been frustrating for me that there is serious lack of part-time professional work options. Most of the postings in job search engines for part-time work are either for interns or entry-level jobs that don’t require a college degree.
When I’ve asked others who have worked out flexible arrangements with their managers how they were able to secure the situation, it’s typically because they are in a field like nursing that has many different shift options (curse me for being freaked out by the site of blood and needles) or have been at a job for years with a wonderful manager who likes their work enough to let them tailor the position to the work hours they want.
With all of our society’s talk about the importance of work-life balance, with blogs and magazines and websites devoted to the issue, it seems astounding to me that there is still such a limited number of companies willing to install policies that so many workers desire.
Is it due to the economy? Yes and no. It’s true that some folks are working longer hours to make up for laid off employees and for fear of being laid off themselves. However, some companies are cutting back employees’ hours by installing “Furlough Fridays” in order to save money. Bad for the wallet but good for the soul? I guess that would depend on one’s financial situation.
Work-life balance isn’t just desired by working moms. Everyone can benefit from having some flexibility. Those who need to take care of ill family members, those in long distance relationships or even those who simply have a hobby they want to pursue during typical work hours.
There are some signs that things are changing in the right direction.
My friend Susan Rink of Rink Strategic Communications shared this article yesterday from the New York Times that discussed how many well-known accounting firms are now offering flex time and generous vacation packages to their employees. As the article mentions, these benefits aren’t just for working mothers. Employees collaborate on their schedules to make sure projects are completed and balance is reached for all.
Let’s hope that other industries follow the accounting firms' lead. Now that’s a line I never thought I’d type!
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