It’s Not About the Trophies, it’s About the Helicopter Parenting

Steelers linebacker James Harrison made headlines this week when said he was giving back his 6- and 8-year-old sons’ trophies for the 2015 Best of the Batch Next Level Athletics Student Athlete Award (Holy mouthful, Batman!) because they didn’t earn it. He said "...sorry for believing that everything in life should be earned and I'm not about to raise two boys to be men by making them believe that they are entitled to something just because they tried their best."

This led to a lot of praise about his decision because many people feel this next generation (Side note: are they called Generation ZZ Top? I’ve lost track.) feels a sense of entitlement which is intensified by receiving participation trophies that they didn’t earn. These people feel that these trophies make children believe they don’t have to put any effort in to earn real rewards and make winning seem unimportant.

On the flip side, others have argued that participation trophies, especially for young children, build encouragement and confidence, show that effort matters, and make kids happy. Plus, this trophy was also for academic achievement, should that not have been rewarded?

General sports participation trophies are kind of goofy, in my opinion. A trophy is defined as “a cup or other decorative object awarded as a prize for a victory or success.” A victory obviously means a win. A success however is a little vaguer. Is it successful if a kid who could barely connect with a soccer ball at the beginning of the season scores a couple of goals by the end of the year? I’d argue, yes. That’s where I think some sort of acknowledgement of improvement and hard work makes sense.  

At such young ages, as one online commenter who coached youth sports said “getting them (6- to 8-year-olds) to be part of the team -- show up for the games and practices, stay engaged in the game even when they're on the bench and other kids are playing -- IS an achievement.” Is a certificate or trophy necessary, probably not but it doesn’t matter.

Per this USA today article “Kids always know the fastest kid on the playground and the best players on their teams. They know the difference between winning and losing and the distance between first place and last. They do not grow up to believe they are winners in life just because they got a tin trophy for finishing fifth in rec league basketball.”

Kids don’t feel entitled because of a stupid participation trophy nor do they feel bad if they don’t receive one.

Kids grow up to feel entitled because of helicopter parents who shielded them from ANYTHING negative, did EVERYTHING for them growing up, and NEVER allowed them to experience failure and difficulties.  These kids then become adults who think everything is owed to them and will be done for them, and then struggle because they never had to struggle before.

This article from July in Business Insider talks about how anxiety has surpassed depression as the biggest mental health problem facing college students because they never learned to manage uncertainty and difficulty, a key component of life.

A participation trophy for a 6-8 year old may be arguably unnecessary, but is harmless. It’s not a gateway to entitlement and anxiety later in life because kids recognize them for what they are – a piece of paper/paperweight. Parents - like those in these Reddit examples - who wrote their kids’ college essays, accompanied their children on job interviews, and failed to believe that their children could be anything but perfect in spite of clear evidence to the contrary. are the real problem.

The Real Problem (Photo by Michael Ellins -Newsweek)